A Picture Is Worth 1000 Words - But Are They The Right Words?
Here's a short post on what sometimes is a very contentious topic. I don't mean there is a lot of controversy about it directly, but that there are strong viewpoints on each side.
Should resumes include a picture of the person?
It seems fair that it should work for both men and women but with the imbalance of the men-women ratio in most communities, it seems that the men are driving this issue too.
But since I try to be pretty even handed about things, let's try it this way. How many girls ask to see a picture of the guy? That's the same number of guys that should be asking for pictures of the girls.
No, I'm not being naive. There might be a difference between guys and girls but beauty is in the eye of the beholder - it's not in a picture.
I debated this myself for a long time until I had the following Parsha thought. Recall when Avraham told Sara before entering Mitzraim - "NOW I see that you are a beautiful woman" and Rashi explains that he saw her reflection in the water. How did that change how he saw her? Avraham saw a 'picture'. A picture doesn't present the person's character that one appreciates when meeting them. And this effects a person's judgement about their beauty. (BTW - if anyone has a source for this thought, please let me know.)
Let the guy ask anyone he trusts about the prospective girls looks - but a picture is just too superficial. If that's the only way he wants to judge the girl, then fix him up with a superficial girl. So next time a guy asks to see a picture of the girl, ask him if he wants to be Avraham Avinu or a Mitzri. If he pauses, then you know what you are dealing with. At a minimum, at least make the guy provide a picture of himself too. (see end of previous post).
The next logical question might be - how about a video? Personally, I think that it would be better than a picture. It would be a more complete impression of the person. This is probably much more impractical though. At least I hope it is and stays that way. Though I wouldn't be surprised if some enterprising shadchan took this idea and opened up a video based shadchan service to differentiate themselves. In this day and age of outspending the other, imagine all the extra charges you could layer on for creating the video - effects, lighting, etc. Hmmm...