A Picture Is Worth 1000 Words - But Are They The Right Words?

Here's a short post on what sometimes is a very contentious topic.  I don't mean there is a lot of controversy about it directly, but that there are strong viewpoints on each side.

Should resumes include a picture of the person?

It seems fair that it should work for both men and women but with the imbalance of the men-women ratio in most communities, it seems that the men are driving this issue too.

But since I try to be pretty even handed about things, let's try it this way.  How many girls ask to see a picture of the guy?  That's the same number of guys that should be asking for pictures of the girls.  

No, I'm not being naive.  There might be a difference between guys and girls but beauty is in the eye of the beholder - it's not in a picture.  

I debated this myself for a long time until I had the following Parsha thought.  Recall when Avraham told Sara before entering Mitzraim - "NOW I see that you are a beautiful woman" and Rashi explains that he saw her reflection in the water.  How did that change how he saw her? Avraham saw a 'picture'.  A picture doesn't present the person's character that one appreciates when meeting them.  And this effects a person's judgement about their beauty.  (BTW - if anyone has a source for this thought, please let me know.)

Let the guy ask anyone he trusts about the prospective girls looks - but a picture is just too superficial.  If that's the only way he wants to judge the girl, then fix him up with a superficial girl. So next time a guy asks to see a picture of the girl, ask him if he wants to be Avraham Avinu or a Mitzri.  If he pauses, then you know what you are dealing with.  At a minimum, at least make the guy provide a picture of himself too.  (see end of previous post).  

The next logical question might be - how about a video?  Personally, I think that it would be better than a picture. It would be a more complete impression of the person.  This is probably  much more impractical though.  At least I hope it is and stays that way.  Though I wouldn't be surprised if some enterprising shadchan took this idea and opened up a video based shadchan service to differentiate themselves.  In this day and age of outspending the other, imagine all the extra charges you could layer on for creating the video - effects, lighting, etc. Hmmm...